September 16, 2007
I'm Losing My Mind
I feel like a crazy person these days. I have these overwhelming feelings of paranoia. All of these fears are completely irrational, but I can't help the total panic that washes over me. I even have these visions of terrible things happening, that I have no control over. I'm afraid to leave my house at night despite living in a very safe neighborhood. I keep thinking that my friends don't like me and that they're all mad at me. Every time someone knocks on my front door my heart jumps into my throat because I'm thinking there might be someone posing as a salesperson just so they can gain entry into our house. Fear races through my body if my little girl goes running to the door, shouting 'daddy's home'. I can't pretend we're not home when she does that. I absolutely hate the way I feel, and I think it might have something to do with the medication I'm on. I'm praying that it's something as simple as that. I can't live like this. Living in constant fear is no way to live. I'm thankful that I was on medication that took the edge off of everything, but now I want to be done with it. It has taken the edge off of the fun stuff too, and I can't feel sad for the things I need to feel sad for. I've traded in normal emotions for paralyzing paranoia. I have an appointment on Wednesday to discuss changing my meds. I hope there's a simple answer, and a quick remedy.
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4 comments:
Stina, good luck at your appointment today. You're right, living in constant fear is no way to be. Hope you can get the answers you need at the doctor, but it's also good to talk it out with a friend. We're here for you!
(((HUGS))) Stina I'm so sorry you are feeling this way. I hope your Dr listens to you and reevals your meds.
I know since becoming a Mom, I've had more anxiety and felt more "paranoid" about uncontrolable things..sucks.
You KNOW you can call me anytime day or night!
Leslie
Stina, I hope you start feeling better soon. I have been thinking about you a lot today and wish there was something I could do. You know we are here if/when you need us. HUGS SWEETIE.
I really am beginning to know what you are talking about. I am feeling so low right now and have noone I can tell how I feel. I feel really ashamed and disgusted at myself and yet it continues. It is as though I am watching myself destroy my own life and own relationships. I think pills have a lot to answer for and also the fact that people think your nuts the second the word 'stress' is used. Crazy that Im even writing this...but it kind of helps xxx
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