Mother doesn't always know best...

So, I guess it's time for me to give in, and agree to not having the three children I've dreamed of having. Ever since I've wanted to be a mother, I've wanted three kids. It just seems that I'll feel more complete having a family of five. However, it doesn't seem that I'm going to win this one. Since my first pregnancy, with Alexis, my family and friends have told me that I shouldn't have any more babies. Not because they don't think Alexis is the best thing since sliced bread, but because being pregnant with her was so difficult on my body. I was so ecstatic when I discovered I'm pregnant again. We're expecting Pamela in early June, and I'm just thrilled to pieces. Ab is excited that we're having another girl, but wants to stop having children once she arrives. I was holding out hope that this pregnancy would so smoothly, that I'd have no problem convincing him that a third wouldn't be so bad. Well, so much for that. I'm far more mobile this time around, but am having just as many, if not more, issues. With Alexis I continually had problems. At just 6 weeks with her, we thought we were going to lose her. I was on bedrest for 2 weeks in the first trimester because I had a cyst on my ovary that was hemmoraging. When that passed, I was able to move about again, however I had severe morning sickness. So severe the doctors threatened to put me on medication. Thankfully, that all passed by the second trimester. Not long after reaching my second trimester did other problems arise. I had hip problems from a previous injury that kept me in bed, at one point I was even lucky enough to end up with shingles. (How many 24 year old women do you know that had shingles)? Finally, in my third trimester, I developed preeclampsia. As rough as that pregnancy was, I couldn't imagine another could be near as bad. This pregnancy started off well. You can imagine my relief when I made it all the way through my first trimester with no morning sickness. I celebrated that so far this pregnancy is so much easier than it was with Alexis. There was still hope for a third! Second trimester was uneventful as well. I really thought my luck had turned around. Then came third trimester. *sigh* This is where it gets crummy again. I failed my gestational diabetes test, and now have to monitor my glucose four times a day. On top of that, I'm being monitored for preeclampsia again because I've consistently had protein in my urine and my blood pressure is trying to creep up on me. Yippy. So, I'm considered a high risk pregnancy again. Then, if all that wasn't enough, I spent half a day in labor and delivery over the weekend because I was having real contractions. The fun painful kind that I'm not supposed to get for at least another 7 or 8 weeks. I was given 'terb' to stop the contractions and sent home. The upside is that the contractions weren't caused by preterm labor, but instead by kidney stones. Oh yeah, the sheer joy of it. I got to pass three of those bad boys. With all the stuff that keeps 'piling on my plate', Ab is very firm in his decision of not wanting a third child. At this point, I can almost agree with him. Almost. What point will it have to come to before I start listening to my body and agreeing that a third pregnancy isn't really an option for me? Obviously my friends, family and husband telling me I shouldn't do it didn't work, so my poor body is trying to signal to me that it just can't handle it. A little piece of me wants to hold out hope that some day I can feel a third little being move about in my belly, but it becomes less realistic by the day. I know I am blessed with two beautiful babies, and should be thankful that I have that many when there are so many that can't have any. And really, don't my daughters deserve a healthy mommy that can run and play with them? I owe them that much. Maybe later down the road we can adopt a third...who knows?