Today was another day...

but it was a good day. I received good news about my mother's health today, so that certainly helped me to be a little more positive. I found the drive to actually get out of the house today. I met up with the mommy group I had started last year, and had a nice time. The kids got to play, I got to sit around with some girlfriends, and most importantly I wasn't sitting around at home. I went ahead an refilled a prescription for an antidepressant I had previously been prescribed. It's supposed to be okay while breastfeeding, so it shouldn't effect the baby or my supply. I've decided that I didn't want to take a chance that I might have postpartum depression, and I'm trying to nip it in the butt before it gets a chance to take over. I don't want to miss out on this short time with my newborn little girl, or miss out on another milestone of my oldest daughter. We don't get this time back, and it would be an absolute shame if I didn't get to enjoy it. My husband is home this weekend, and he's going to help me to get back on top of the housework. It will help with my need to feel caught up, and quit feeling so overwhelmed with it. He's a very supportive man, and I'm thankful for it. He said something today that really helped boost my mood. He told me that he doesn't think the house is a mess, it just appears that way when our oldest scatters her toys in the living room. And when I looked at it, he really is right. Yes, there are dishes in the sink, but really I haven't been doing as bad as I have been beating myself up over. I think perhaps I'm trying too hard to be the perfect wife and mother, when really I should allow myself just to be a loving wife and mother. No matter how clean my house is, it's the moments that I spend with my family that will truly matter in the long run. Hopefully, I don't let that idea escape me, and the medication will give me just enough strength to help me grab ahold of it wholeheartedly.