The Gym

Well, ladies and gents, I took myself to the gym over the weekend. I slipped into my sexy workout clothes. I'm sure you know the ones. The sweats that show off the 'muffin top', and the tank top with straps that reveal the ten foot wide bra straps. Grrrrrr baby. I HATE going to the gym. Not so much because I hate working out, because I actually do enjoy it. It's having the feeling that I need to be in shape in order to have the right to be there. I was hoping that Sunday would be a slow day, and that it would be me alone with the exercise equipment. No such luck, of course. Much to my disappointment, there was a super fit high school girl, her trophy wife of a mom, and some other really fit woman. I paused in the doorway, because I wasn't particularly interested in being subjected to 30 minutes of what I imagined to be judgemental stares as my chunky behind pedalled on some stationary bike. I fought the voice in my head that screamed, "go wait your turn fatty" and sat down on the bike. I was careful not to make eye contact with any of the women there. I felt a moment of panic after sitting down, because I wasn't sure how to turn everything on. I slowly started peddling, hoping both that the bike wasn't broken and that it would turn something on. Thankfully, the lights came on and I let out the breath I had been holding in. Once I figured out how to get everything going, that hot icky embarrassed feeling slid away. So far, so good. Two hurdles down, one to go. Finish the workout. Well guess what?! I did it! I'm so glad I didn't let my fear of being judge from working towards my goal of being healthy for my girls. I even came home and did pilates for 45 minutes. Woohoo! I've always told myself that complaining about your weight doesn't change anything, action does. If I keep this up, not only will I no longer be able to complain about my body, but I'll be setting a great example for my girls. Don't think I'm going to teach my girls that they should be ashamed of being a little overweight. I want to teach them to be healthy and I feel I can only truly teach that by example.